The beasts

So the girl has been sick for going on 3 weeks.
She truly is a snot head.
I had to have a talk with the man about cleaning up the house more often, particularly vacuuming up all the animal hair. I found a dust bunny that truly was the size of a large bunny!
I also bought a baby gate to keep the animals out of the bedrooms and the bathrooms. This has made my bedroom much warmer, and less hairy, but I find I end up on the couch at 4:30 am when the beasts decide they are lonely/hungry.
To say a little about these animals in this house, they hold me captive. One cat pees on carpets so we have no rugs. We have two baby gate to contain him out of the bedrooms and the living room. Another cat insists on eating at all times and will gorge herself if her bowl was down lower than half. If that happens she darts in front of your legs repeatedly until you either fall or feed her. She then gorges and pukes all over the kitchen. I have taken to allowing her to blossom into a full figured cat to avoid injury to myself and constant cleaning of cat puke.
She also eats the dogs food as well.
The dogs are very very needy. The male still looks like a puppy at five. He has poor coping skills with being ill which we found out when he ate part of a smoked turkey and proceeded to go outside every 15 minutes for a whole 18 hours.
The man initially complained to me that I gave him too many treats, but then he was subjected to the puppies tactics. He stares and whines at you for a long time. If you ignore him the gets closer aNd closer to your face ( hopefully you are not on the couch). He then either pokes you repeatedly with his nose or his paw while whining the whole time. If you try to let him out he will not go and a struggle ensues if you try to force him.
Once you decide to let the dogs in from the outside they act as all dogs do, like they have not seen you in day's. The beast comes in first and proceeds to jump on to your back repeatedly. You barely have time to regain your footing before she pushes you back into the door. While you at trying to shut the door and get her to stop beating you, the puppy slams his nose into your crotch, or butt if your facing away, to take a few long sniffs just to confirm that it is indeed you. You truly feel assaulted when opening the back door.
I used to love animals.
This batch Makes me wish for their deaths quite regularly.

Tonight the boy came in and said he found a new religion called pastafarian.

Is that where u pray to pasta?

No..it's legit. Every Friday is a holiday as well as all other holidays.
My friend yakalak is a Pastafarian.

Oooooookaaay

I have to stay up late tonite to write an essay to my friend Melanie. She is the most legit person I know.

Apparently I am not the most legit person he knows...humph.